Don't You Remember
by wsm021
Summary: Damon is done bending over backwards for a love that was never his to have. Better to not care at all than to care too much. & If Elena has a problem with that tough. This is what she wanted. Except... maybe it's not, not anymore. Post 3x15 This is a complete repost
1. Dimmer Switch

**AN: If I owned a thing cannon would feature a much smarter Elena. This story was removed, I almost cried cuz I wasn't sure I still had the files on my computer. Luckily, I'm not completely brainless. This is a repost in the truest sense of the word. I haven't even re-edited. Sorry, but hey at least it's back!  
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Damon felt the veins under his eyes begin to throb. He can't remember the last time he had been so furious. He had always known that Stefan was a hypocrite but this was pushing it. What Damon did with his humanity was his business, it always had been. He never pretended to be the good guy, had never aspired to be human. He was a vampire and he had accepted that from the beginning. If he wanted to shut out the pain that was his fucking choice. What was he trying to accomplish, fuck if he knew, and fuck if Stefan needed to know. They had flipped a coin in the car. They had wasted precious time trying to decide who would do what needed to be done, all out of fear of a little girl. God, what had become of him? She was eighteen years old for Christsakes, nothing to him, two decades to his near two centuries. And yet, somehow, she had ruined him. But no more. He knew who he was, he may have been sidetracked by Katherine the Second but he refused to continue setting himself up to fail. Better not to care at all, then to care too much.

Stefan had never seen anything like it. Even as a human, Damon had been able to compartmentalize in a way that made him envious. If he didn't want to care, he didn't. If he didn't want to hurt, he didn't. In all his life only two things had visibly fazed his brother; Katherine and the War. After they had become vampires that control had only intensified. Damon had worked his humanity like a light switch. He never had to fight against it, it went on and off whenever he felt it suited his purposes. Now though, now Stefan sat and watched as his bother stood still as a statue for hours. And with each unsuccessful hour he destroyed the closest thing to him. He doesn't know what Elena said to him at the ball but he has half a mind to kick her ass. No one had the right to do this to his brother, no one but him. He doesn't know what it takes but he can feel when it happens, the air shifts, nearly tangible in his hands. He doesn't know why this is affecting him the way it is, maybe it's the fact that the Damon he came back to was the closest to human he's ever been since 1864, maybe it's because he'd just gotten control of his own switch, maybe a combination of both. Whatever the reason, Stefan feels like he's losing something he can't bear to be without.

"What about Elena?" It's a cheap shot, Stefan knows that, but it's all he had. If there was anything Damon could put above protecting himself, it was protecting her.

"She'll be looked after, I haven't gone anywhere brother." The telltale call of a crow sounds from outside as Damon makes his way upstairs.

She hasn't seen Damon in two weeks. What is that to a vampire, like the blink of an eye? It feels like an eternity to her. Elena can't remember the last time she went an entire day without Damon. There were no texts to check in, no calls to make sure she hadn't disappeared since he last saw her, no random visits at night to make sure she got some sleep. For the past two weeks it was as if Damon didn't exist. And the worst part was that she'd sort of enjoyed it, at first. Bonnie refusal to see her had made it hard to forgive Damon for what he had done. Hard to take responsibility for the fact that he wouldn't have had to do it had she just listened to him in the first place. Caroline had been wrong, Bonnie didn't get hurt because of the things done to protect Elena; she got hurt for all the times Elena hadn't worked to protect herself. It was a reality check she hadn't been prepared for.

That said, she got over the novelty of solace after day five. Every day after that was spent waiting him out. She'd busied herself with writing Bonnie emails, her way of being there without being there. She actually went to school, that in itself was a small miracle. She talked to Jeremy to reminded herself that she had done the right thing. She went out with Caroline for a few hours of normalcy and she lay in bed at night hoping that the next day he would call. Wake up, repeat. She rolled over hoping as always to find his lithe form next to her. No dice, checking her window seat, another bust. But outside there was a crow. A single crow perched on the branch closest to her window watching her. The first day she'd gotten dressed expecting him to be outside waiting. She hadn't seen his crow in ages and whenever she had in the past he wasn't far behind. But he wasn't there. No matter, it was contact at least; she would take what she could get. She drove to school fully aware of the crow following her, stared out of the windows in class, able to spot him within seconds. This continued for days, until seeing the crow did little more than piss her off. She named him Jax, as much as he was a part of Damon she knew he had a personality of his own. She didn't blame Jax, she just didn't understand why Damon would send him if he couldn't bring himself to just see her.

She started with texts, then graduated to late night phone calls. Everything went unanswered. Everything told her that he wanted space, that he was still angry and talking to her wasn't a priority. Everything but Jax. She breaks down one day, swallows her pride and asks Ric how he's been. He gives her this look, like he doesn't know whether to hurt her or hold her. His grunted 'fine', and shy apologetic smile is the reason she sheds her first tears for Damon. For Ric to be mad at her, Damon had to be furious.

Day twenty-one she sees Caroline talking to Jax, it's cute until she hears what she's saying. "This is ridiculous Damon, please. I know. I… yeah, okay." Then it's crazy.

"You're talking to a bird Care" The way the blonde vampire jumps sets her nerves off. It's nearly impossible to sneak up on a vampire, even one as young as her best friend. The way Jax flies away makes her anxious. He never leaves her sight, or is it that she never leaves his?

"Um, yeah but you know, it's Damon. Eyes and Ears. Still pissed he won't teach me how to do it but whatever, he's always been a pretty shitty sire." The words come out quickly, too quickly even for Caroline. It was as if she'd been caught with her hand in the cookie jar and was talking her way out of trouble.

"Kay, I get why you talk to him, how does he talk to you?" She's wanted to talk to Damon for weeks now, and if it had been as easy as cornering the crow that followed her everywhere, she wanted to know how to get it done.

"Seriously? You were with Stefan for what a year… you really know nothing? Huh. Damon's my sire, if he concentrates enough, and I don't focus on blocking him out, he can get in my head. The older the stronger the bond, the more you can do." Her eyes go dark and Elena's pretty sure she's thinking about Tyler and Klaus so she changes the topic from the bond and back to Damon. But not before she files away all the things she doesn't know about being a vampire for later discussion. She had been with Stefan for a long time, she should know more. But Honesty and full disclosure hadn't been their strong suit. Sometimes she wonders what exactly their strong suit was.

"So, how is he? Is he done being mad at me yet?" She tries to keep her voice calm, not wanting to give away just how much the answer meant to her. If she hadn't been watching she would have missed it. For a second Caroline looks at her the same way Ric did. What was Damon saying to them that had them so upset with her?

"He hasn't been mad at you for a while now." Another dark look passes between them and Elena feels something shift inside of her. The way Caroline said that was unnerving. There was no reassurance. Like when you watch the news and something tragic happens, they say it in a way that you almost don't notices, almost don't care. Damon may not be mad at her but something was wrong.

Day twenty-seven she ditches school after lunch and heads over to the Boarding House. The closer she gets the faster her heart starts to pound. She should have gone to see him sooner. She shouldn't have given him space, she knew better than that. She can't even wrap her head around the number of mistakes she's made with him. She's surprised when Stefan opens the front door. The look on his face is apprehensive at best and it sends her already anxious mind into a tail spin. She lets him lead her to the den and his parting words give her pause. What exactly did he want her to fix and if he'd thought she should have been here sooner why hadn't he just asked her to come over?

Damon almost wants to stake Stefan, almost, but he understands what his brother is hoping to accomplish. It won't work and Elena will probably be hurt but he can't fault the kid for trying. The irony of it all hasn't been lost on him. He decides to get this over with as soon as possible.

She knows the second he looks at her. It's the way her body doesn't respond. The way her skin doesn't tingle, her heart doesn't race and the air goes flat instead of electric. The tears in her eye are beyond her control and she takes some satisfaction in the way his hands twitch, as if to comfort her. "Turn it on." She means it to sound forceful, to be commanding but even to her own ears it sound like a plea, sounds like she's begging. He looks at her, or through her she can't really tell. He has the perfect poker face now, absolutely no emotions to betray the way he feels. No emotion to reassure her of her place in his world. It breaks her heart, probably in the exact same way she broke his. She did this to him, and she would give anything, do anything, be anything to undo it. "Please, Damon. Turn it back on."

He doesn't say anything for a while. Can't think of anything to say. He doesn't want to hurt her, but he won't placate her either. Honesty is the way he's always approached his life. Humanity or not, that was who he was. "I would rather not." He leaves her there because he won't explain himself to her and he refuses to watch her cry.

Stefan tries to give them privacy. Tries and fails but still. He thought that if there is anyone who can get through to his brother it would be Elena but when he hears the camaro back out of the driveway his tolerance snaps. He loves her, he really does but he loves his bother more, regardless of it all. "_Please?_ You thought you could just ask and that would be enough?" How had it come to this, had they really been so controlled by her, this child? How had they led her to believe that they would just do everything she wanted simply because she wanted it? He thinks for the first time that maybe… maybe none of them deserve each other.

"What was I supposed to do Stefan, Damon hears me out because he loves me, it's the only reason he's ever listened to me. You take that away…" She can't even bring herself to finish. You take that away and what, what did she have now, in a world without Damon's love. She feels sick.

"He still loves you," he ignores her look of disbelieve, "he does. We turn it off but we can't shut it out. We're aware of everything, we just don't… care, I guess. He knows he loves you, he just doesn't feel it. You have to make him feel it." He doesn't waste any more of his time talking to her, doesn't wait for her to clue in that he had been aware of everything, had felt everything. He can tell she's already lost in her own head. A month ago, he would have done anything to get Damon out of the way. To have him move on from Elena so she could be normal, move past the world of supernatural misery. Now, now he doesn't know which end is up.

Caroline finds her a few hours later. Apparently skipping school is synonymous with going to see Damon. Or maybe Jax baited her out, or Stefan called in reinforcements, not that it mattered. She lets herself be led from the house to the car because there isn't anything here for her. "Can you make someone feel, even when they don't want to?" Next to Damon there is only one person in her life that values honesty over tact.

Caroline doesn't answer her at first. Not because she doesn't want to but she has to think about it. She tried for weeks to get Matt to forgive her. Even before that she'd tried to get Matt to notice her, love er. Now she was devoted to getting Klaus to not feel towards her, to stop herself from feeling towards him. "Yes and no. You can't make someone feel something that isn't there. But it's there Elena. You just have to _make_ _him feel it."_

**AN: any good?**


	2. Learn Something

**AN: I think 30+ alerts is pretty good reason to continue. And thank you to the people who reviewed and asked me for updates. Hopefully I can pull this off. **

**Superdoodie: just wanna say hilarious name!**

**Crimson-Kiss17****: Don't you just LOVE Dalaric, I love them almost more than I love Delena. Almost. **

**Tukct81: MEEEEEEEEEEE TOOOOO! Elena needs to do some serious begging and cannon just keeps falling short. "you need to get over it" ? I nearly broke my tv. **

Contrary to what most people may think Damon didn't simply spend the last century pining for Katherine. He had lived his life, made allies and enemies alike. He garnered a reputation, one that was pretty respectable… or what passed for respectable with vampires. Staying in Mystic Falls had never been a part of his plans and now he couldn't leave. Not yet anyways, not until Elena was safe. There's such a misconception about humanity, and what it means to shut it off. On some level he doesn't love her, or at least he can't access the love he feels for her but he can't bring himself to hurt her. Okay, he could, and he wouldn't feel bad about it but he doesn't want to. It's wired into his very being, the same way taking care of Stefan is. He'd spent more time with his humanity off than on and he had still spent a large part of his unlife cleaning up after his little brother's rampages. There are things; emotions, devotions that go beyond humanity. Things that have nothing to do with being human and everything to do with who you are. He's explained that to Ric for the umpteenth time because as much as he had allies before, Alaric was his first friend in a really long time. But he will break his neck if the guy doesn't shut up soon.

"Just so I've got this straight; an 'associate' called you and told you about a pack in Michigan? A pack that is determined to kill the doppelganger because hybrids are _too _supernatural. And even though you don't love her, don't care about her, you're going to kill them to keep her alive… and that makes sense to you?" He doesn't get it, a dimmer switch is one thing but Ric knows for a fact that Damon is completely checked out. But somehow he's still there, still fighting the good fight. What exactly was the point of turning it all off, if at the end of the day it didn't change anything?

"He loves her. Why is that so hard for you to understand? He just doesn't give a damn about it. Can we move on now?" Stefan is more frustrated than he knows how to deal with. A witch he'd met a few years back had heard about his crusade against Klaus and was requesting an audience. He needed Damon gone and the longer they sat here trying to appease the human the longer he went without a way to kill Klaus. For some reason even without his humanity Damon doesn't see the point of killing unnecessarily, and according to him there is no reason to kill Klaus. Klaus needs Elena alive, Klaus has his family, Klaus isn't trying to kill them ergo Klaus gets to live. Its bullshit, but he doesn't have the resources to wage war against Klaus on his own. While he was gone Damon inherited the Scooby gang and when it comes down to defeating Klaus he's going to want some back up. So if he's going to do this, which he is, he needs Damon out of the way, for now.

"I'll come with you. If it's a pack you won't be able to kill them on your own any ways." Caroline doesn't want to go, but Damon needs the help and she could use the vacation. Its funny how being a vampire chances the way you look at life. She has no reservations about killing the people who are plotting to kill her best friend but she's suffocating romantically. Honestly, she feels like she's losing her mind. Yesterday Matt had asked her about Tyler and she had absolutely no idea how he was doing. He'd stopped calling weeks ago and in the beginning it was all she could think about. Now though, now she spends more time avoiding Klaus and pretending not to enjoy his company than she spends doing anything else. She loves Tyler, knows that as well as she knows her own name but when has love ever been enough. She loved Matt, he had loved her and they still couldn't make it work. Everyone knew how much Stefan and Elena had loved each other and look at where that had gotten them. Alaric had loved Isobel, pfft enough said. But this thing with Klaus, it didn't feel like love, didn't even feel like infatuation. She wants to know him, and not just about him but _know _him to his very core. She has this burning desire to know everything there is to know about him, his every tell, his every need, want, thought. She's never felt that before. And she needs to run as far away from it as she can.

It's unnerving, after all these months of psychotic vampire puppet to see Stefan stare into the fire again looking as if he held the weight of the world on his shoulders. He hadn't believed Damon at first that Stefan had willingly stepped away from the dark side, but every day he seemed more like the martyr they had all known and loved. But that wasn't Stefan. He doesn't know if anyone else has the good sense to realize it but he does. Stefan living off thumper and bambi wasn't Stefan in control. Stefan's quest to be as human as possible wasn't Stefan being himself. You shouldn't have to work that hard, Ric knows that. Damon's got no humanity, doesn't care, and he hasn't really changed. He's still a sarcastic ass who is hard to handle in large doses and drinks bourbon like water. Fundamentally he's still Damon, just a lot more callous and a tad less feeling. Ric doesn't know who the real Stefan is, doesn't even think Stefan knows. So since they can't trust him, it's decided that Caroline and Damon would go hybrid hunting while he stayed with Liz trying to figure out who was killing council members and Stefan would go on being broody.

She almost doesn't answer the door. No one knocks anymore, everyone that needs to be kept out can't get in and everyone that can get it in knows the door is never locked. She answers because of the small none existent chance that it's Damon. The few times she had seen him since that day he had been disturbingly formal, formal enough to not walk right into her house. When she sees Bonnie standing in front of her, she hides her disappointment quickly enough and moves aside to let her in.

"Thank-you, for the emails. They… I just needed time and they meant a lot" The words taste like vinegar coming from her mouth. She isn't ready to do this, to be Elena's friend but with Caroline and Damon gone, Ric busy and Matt working it was Bonnie's job to keep her distracted. There is a part of her that knows, really knows she's being ridiculous. This isn't Elena's fault. Abby left her, not just to protect the balance, but to protect Elena. And had it come down to a choice, Abby's life for her best friend's… she probably would have made the same one. She just doesn't know how much more of this she can take. How much more she has in her life to give before they're either safe or dead. Elena is the doppelganger, she never asked for it and she would have been a part of this world regardless of anything else, being a witch she understood that. Sometimes though, sometimes she wished Elena had been born somewhere else, that she had been someone else's problem. And that makes her hate herself just a little.

"You don't have to be here Bonnie. I'm not stupid, I haven't seen Caroline all day and Jax hasn't left my side since Thursday. I don't know what they're doing or what it has to do with me but you don't need add babysitting me to your list of duties." She glances at the crow currently resting on the bay window ledge and wonders not for the first time how exactly they had gotten to this point. How had the world become so backwards that Bonnie had to be instructed to spend time with her. She understood that she was the weak link. The Gilbert family ring didn't work for her like some cosmic joke; the supernatural being that was retardedly human. She's too tired and raw to deal with being an obligation to anybody right now.

It's something in Elena's voice that finally breaks through to her. She's not mad, or sad or frustrated. She seems oddly resigned that this is her fate, this is her life. Her friends put aside their own feelings to look after her. They offer up their own lives to protect her. They work behind her back to spare her hardship. And never once do they think of what that does to her, of how that must affect her. All the things they did in her name, the actions that they didn't think twice about, and the consequences they don't feel. All the remorse and anger and guilt that never registered for them because they had perfected justifying doing what needed to be done. She took on all of it, Elena felt it for them.

They spend the day crying together. It's lethargic yet oddly therapeutic. She doesn't know what lines Caroline was currently crossing or when Jeremy would be able to come home. She doesn't know if Bonnie would ever be the same again, or if Stefan was ever going to be able to look her in the eye. She doesn't know what's going to happen with Klaus or whether she'll even be alive long enough to fix things with Damon. She knows that she'd never really had a choice; that the supernatural wasn't on the other side of the tracks for her, it was her world. And she knows that she has something worth fighting for, a makeshift family to come home to and a crow that gives her hope.

The last time she spent three straight days with Damon it was a compulsion induced sex marathon. She's not complaining, the man is a god but it's amazing how much can change in practically no time at all. They found the pack easily enough. The poor fools didn't know they needed to hide. The bloodlust she'd felt was unlike anything she'd ever experienced before. Stefan used to talk to her about the animal inside and she'd teased him for getting all Buffy on her but now she knows. Getting hungry and _wanting_ to feed were so different. She'd never **wanted **to kill someone before. She expected to be disgusted with herself instead she's impressed, and she can tell he is too. It's a lesson Stefan could never have taught her. It wasn't wrong to give in to your nature, it was wrong to be ruled by it. She could have stopped; she could have let them all go and that was what matter. Stefan was all black or white; either he was the good guy or the bad guy. Life wasn't that simple. She understood now how Damon enjoyed this life, how Klaus enjoyed it, she knew now how she would enjoy her eternity.

"You look like the cat that ate the canary." He tries not to sound proud but he can't help it. She was… gorgeous. As a human Caroline had been nothing special. Pretty obviously, mildly compassionate but mostly selfish and overtly shallow. As a vampire, she had depth. Vampire Barbie was caring yet lethal, loving yet vicious. She wasn't waiting for men to notice her, she was commanding attention. That was his childe, how could he not admire her.

She blames the sire bond for the sudden spark of happiness. Impressing Damon is something not many people are capable of and she'd done that. He hadn't needed to protect her during the attack, hadn't needed to save her. She really had been listening to him when they trained. She'd decided if she was going to be a vampire then she was going to be a _vampire_. "My skin is on fire"

They went back to the hotel long enough to wash off the blood and then he dragged her to a bar. According to him you can't go from giving into the bloodlust to nothing without going a little crazy. So they were easing back into normal, hunting in a whole different way. She dances, feeds and compels her way through more men than she cares to count. Damon disappeared about an hour ago but she can feel him in the alleyway. She's almost jealous of the college freshman who won't have an innocent bone left in her body by the time he's done. She misses sex. She calls it a night when Klaus' face spring into her head. She misses sex, but not that much.

After Bonnie leaves, she opens her window and just stares for a while. It's impossible to explain how despondent she feels. Jax seemed anxious, if that's even possible for a bird and all she can think about is whether that's a reflection of Damon's feelings or a response to Damon's absence. She walks back to the bed and calls his name. Without fail the small black bird flew into her room and takes his place atop her lamp. "He'll be back you know. He always comes back."


	3. Trapped Inside My Own Mind

**AN: YAY! I found a way to get rid of the crazy bitch without giving myself an aneurysm. AND I wrote the last chapter, no definitive idea what's going to happen between now and then but I know exactly how I need this to end. Reviews make my life and I'm writing more cuz you're asking for it. **

**Mellowdramatik**** – Haha, I'm glad you found this too. Trust me, that girl makes me want to rip my hair out sometimes. Damon won't crack so easily but eventually. They definitely need time to figure it all out, get rid of any lingering doubt or fears. It'll be a slow burn from angst to romance that's for sure. **

**Kira – Did I make you speechless? Haha There will definitely be more because you guys just keep reading it. **

The steady turbulence was doing nothing for his mood. Stefan hated flying. It wasn't something that made sense to him but it was the truth. However there was no way he was driving to New Mexico. Not that it would have made a difference, the entire thing had been little more than a waste of time. Apparently the native inhabitants of Mystic Falls had collected seeds of the white oak tree and given them to Ayanna to preserve. Once she'd been sure that the originals had fled back to the old country she had set them to the wind. Just like a witch to leave everything up to fate and nature, stupidest back-up plan ever if you asked him. Now those seeds could have ended up anywhere in the world, anywhere a magic juju wind could have carried them. There could be a tree growing on top of a hillside in Tibet for fucks sake. Sometimes he thinks witches were just but on this earth to fuck with the undead. Useless, the whole goddamn lot of them. According to Celia's sources, witches were naturally drawn to the tree so if he could get his hands on some of the white oak ash she'd be able to juju a relative location. Then he would need to convince Bonnie to go to the tree and carve out new stake because god clearly hated him. Apparently Ayanna bound the seeds to her line, which had made sure that only her family would have the power to ever cut from the tree. So now to kill Klaus it was up to him to scour the globe looking for a mystical hunk of wood. Stupid fucking witches.

If there is anything Alaric hates more than being wrong, it's admitting that Damon was right. It was aggravating enough without answering to the cocky son a bitch he considered to be is best friend. He hates it so much that as he's running through the forest after his psycho girlfriend after watching her try to drive a stake through Carol Lockwood's stomach all he can think about is conceding defeat to the arrogant vampire. Yeah, that was his life. Jesus. He lets off another arrow from his crossbow and after four failed attempts finally hit his mark. Slowing down he takes the time to shoot her again in the other calf and pulls his phone out. Scrolling past Damon's name he decides to call Liz. Less judgement would be best for now at least until he had a litre of Bourbon in his system. "Stop struggling or you'll just bleed out". Is it still wrong to hit a woman even after she'd tried to kill you? God, he needed a vacation. DAMMIT! This bitch did not just kick him, when was he going to catch a friggin' break? Picking himself off the forest ground he uses the blunt end of his bow to knock her unconscious. If she bleeds to death it'll be her own fault. It was times like these where he found he missed Jenna the most. The one woman he'd been ever been right about. Two litres of Bourbon, and Damon would just have to deal with it.

Caroline spent the entire drive back from Michigan thinking about Klaus. And what she couldn't wrap her head around was how, after everything that he'd done, could she even entertain the thought of pursuing him. Better yet how had she made the allowance of his presence in her life at all? She'd called Tyler hoping against hope that he would pick up the phone, that she could he his voice and draw strength from it. She had literally felt her heart drop at the sound of his voicemail. She looked quickly at Damon in the driver's seat and knew by the look on his face that he was checking in with Jax. As quietly as possible, knowing that Tyler would hear her, she told him to come home. It was hard to sit and talk to his voicemail detailing all the reasons he was wasting his time but it needed to be done. He was breaking himself both mentally and physically for her and she hadn't even been able to wait faithfully. _If someone can take your attention away from the one you love than you aren't__** in**__ love._ Her mom had taught her that, explained it to her in full detail when her dad had left. Klaus shouldn't be able to get to her, not if Tyler was it.

Bonnie calls him the second she knows he's home, because that's what they do now. No matter how she may feel about him in the moment, Damon was the back bone of their small army. His love for Elena and his inability to accept defeat before death was what had kept so many of them alive. Abby had transitioned and as much as she could hide out living on blood bags eventually she would need to learn control, learn to hunt. She wasn't completely surprised that he answers the phone by asking her what she needs. Bonnie had realized during her weekend with Elena that regardless of what came out of his mouth, Damon was fundamentally a decent enough guy with a protective instinct a canyon deep. So she explained that Abby wanted to live off a mixture blood bags and animal blood and that she needed to know how to be as human a vampire as possible. She ignored the way he snorts and waited for him in the living room.

It isn't until she invites him in that Damon realizes that he'd never stepped foot into Bonnie's house. It's puzzling that the invitation comes after he turned her mother, funny time to decide she trusted him. He goes over the basics with Abby quickly enough, explains that being a vampire will be easier on her than normal since she was never completely human to begin with. She'd have a stronger moral compass, better grasp on humanity and all that great stuff he'd abandoned. He took her out to the woods and showed her how to drink and release should she ever find herself starved with no access to bagged stuff. He showed her how to run like a human, tricks to control her strength and how to tap in to her senses. And when he's done playing good sire to his second, least favourite childe he pulled Bonnie aside to talk strategy.

She felt like a complete fool. As Damon spoke she couldn't help but to berate herself for not having thought of it sooner. The whole reason Esther had used Tatiana in the first place was because she'd been special; there had been something supernatural about her blood. And if that blood had been strong enough to not only activate the original curse but also bind Klaus's wolf… God, there could be no limit to what Elena's blood was capable of in the hands of the right witch. She needed to check the grimoires, if there was already a spell in existence it needed to be destroyed. He'd talked about a glamour spell but they could change the way Elena looked every week and it wouldn't make a difference. Now that Bonnie knew what to look for she would be able to find Elena through her aura, and Bonnie was an 18 year old girl who had only tapped into her magic three years ago. So now on top of everything they were already dealing with they would need to keep on top of any mounting threats against Elena. Somehow stop them before they reached the city limits and continue to protect Mystic Falls so all the humans could live their nice, cozy, normal lives. Add in the fact that she would need to find a way to push her essence further than she ever had and monitor any collections of magical energy AND not die from the strain of it all. Yeah, they were so screwed.

"How did you forgive Damon?" After he had dropped her off she'd spent maybe two minutes with her mom before walking to Elena's house and collapsing on her bed. That had been hours ago and those words had really been the first thing to come out of her mouth? Smooth Caroline, real smooth. But she just… she needs to know.

Elena isn't as self-absorbed as people tend to think she is. She'd been waiting for Caroline to bring Klaus up for a while now, just not like this. She doesn't know what to say. She has an answer of course. She's asked herself the same thing countless times before, but it took time before she could accept the truth of that answer. Elena had needed to get there on her own and a part of her thinks that Caroline should too. Another part, a much bigger part of her aches for the things she'd lost because of just how long it took to figure out. She would do anything to spare her friend that particular pain. "I can't not" and isn't that the god's honest truth, "he's a part of me Caroline. I know him, really know him. And I know why he's done the things he has. It was never to hurt me or anyone else for that matter. Damon's... Damon is complex and he doesn't take well to being hurt or played with or threatened. Every bad thing he's ever done comes from a place that I can understand. Once you have that, there isn't really anything you can't forgive." She looks at Jax and hopes that Damon believes every word because she truly had meant it.

Caroline doesn't know what to do with that. She was hoping for something like 'He's earned it' or 'I love him'. Something she couldn't apply to her own situation, something to convince herself that Klaus should burn in hell. But this, this she gets. Because even as she tries to deny it she knows why Klaus killed his parents and sired hybrids. And as deplorable as his reasons are, she gets them, they make sense to her. Does that make her depraved?

"He's different with you than he is with anyone else. But not so different that you think he's being insincere. He can pick things up about your personality that took your friends years to learn. He remembers everything you say to him, even… no especially the trivial things. That's what I hav… had…" Elena can't help the way her voice breaks but this isn't about her right now, "that's what Damon gave me. If Klaus does that for you, no matter what he's done. Care you won't be able to stop the way he makes you feel. To have someone in your life that knows you to your core, that consumes you so thoroughly… there's nothing like it. Nothing"

Elena turned off her lamp and got comfortable in her bed. She was emotionally and psyhically exhausted and in no condition to continue the conversation. Klaus has done some terrible things, things she would never forgive but he wasn't looking to being forgiven by anyone but Caroline. Just like Damon hadn't answered to anyone but her. He was the only person in her life she would always forgive. The only person who completed her. If Caroline had that with Klaus well then she wished them luck.

Damon walked through the door and knew instantly that Stefan was up to something. The air was stiff and old which could only mean that none of the doors or windows had been opened in days. Wherever the little twerp had gone he'd probably left the second Damon's car hit the freeway. When was he going to catch a fucking break? Between Elena's daily conversations with Jax, Ric's denial about the psycho-doctor and Caroline's budding romance with the anti-Christ, he really doesn't have time to deal with the brooding wonder. Ah Bourbon, the only constant he'd ever been able to trust. His stock had not been this low three days ago… if he didn't like the guy Ric would be enjoying a nice little dead nap. Speaking of naps… all this shit would still be here tomorrow. He checks in with Jax and resists the urge to run to her. He was a part of her? That would explain why it had been so hard to shut off his humanity, why it was a constant struggle to keep it off. Unfortunate she couldn't have realized that two months ago, too bad she'd been too scared, too much like Katherine. He lies in bed praying that once this was all over and done with he'd be able to leave. Finally escape it all, and finally move on.


	4. A Taste Of Victory

Bonnie went to Elena and Caroline the minute she has an idea that isn't complete garbage. It's still farfetched, ridiculously farfetched but it was the only remotely plausible thing she and Damon could agree on. Esther had been able to tap in to her line because she knew what she was looking for. All supernatural beings gave off a distinct aura and if you know how to look for you could never be fooled into think a vampire was human. Witches were the same way in the sense that you could sense one witches relation to another's. Through her mother Bonnie was a descendent of Ayanna and her children would follow suit. So theoretically, alone she was the line; past present and future. And if Esther could tap into that power through her, it was plausible that she would be able to do the same. The farfetched part was getting it done anytime soon. Esther had been alive longer than her mother and dead infinitely longer than that, Bonnie didn't have that kind of time. She needed to learn this now. Hence why she was currently sitting in the forest by the lake surrounded by candles, chanting words she'd never heard before digging her hand in to the earth around her.

Stefan had returned from New Mexico and still had yet to run in to Damon or anyone really. He knew they were doing something, didn't know what exactly but whatever it was the plans were behind the now warded library doors. He would figure out what they were hiding from him eventually. Right now he was tearing his house a part like he had done every day, room by room. He knew Damon had a vial of white oak ash somewhere and he only had a few hours max to go through the rooms each day. The trick wasn't turning the rooms upside down; it was putting then back exactly the way they had been hence why he still had only made it half way through the house. If he didn't know for a fact that Klaus would be aware he'd been in their house he would just go steal it from him, at least he knew where Klaus kept the stuff. Wait, that son of a bitch! He'd been thinking like himself, wrong move. If Damon wanted to hide something from Stefan he would do it in the last place Stefan would look. Doubling back Stefan tears through his room like a hurricane. Three hours later, plane ticket in hand, he is one step closer to killing the man who had taken everything from him.

"How exactly is this supposed to work again?" Watching from the tree line she still doesn't see very much happening and they had been coming here for hours at a time for nearly a week. It's not that Elena doubted Bonnie per say, the plan just didn't make any sense to her. If Bonnie had access to that kind of power wouldn't she know it by now?

"Magic is just energy, natural energy. Witches are more like vessels than anything else. They have the ability to harness that energy, manipulate it and in return they protect the balance. The trick isn't going to be tapping into the Bennett Family reserve; it's going to be keeping it locked inside of her." He hates the way she always looked so devastated when he spoke to her now. He doesn't know what she expects from him anymore. He knows she misses their friendship, she makes sure to tell Jax that often enough, so he throws her these bones and even then she looks at him like he just shot her dog. He doesn't know what she wants, which isn't all that surprising, he's never known.

Caroline squeezes Elena's hand, right now she knows better than anyone what it's like to have what you want in front of you and know it's still beyond reach. She also knows for a fact Damon that doesn't even realize the way his tone has changed towards her friend. He isn't rude by any means. Not even formal like he had been in the beginning, but it was always very casual and nothing like the playfully aggravating banter they used to share. It's almost as painful for her to watch as it is for Elena to endure. This could be her, if she didn't figure her shit out soon, it could be her fighting to stay composed when all she wanted to do was cry, when all she wanted was be in the arms of a man who had given up on her, on himself, because of her. She didn't want this to be her.

Bonnie knows the second it happens. One second she can feel the forest around her, and the next she is the forest. Without moving she can touch each leaf, see each nest, she knows which directing the wind is flowing, knows where it will go and where it will die down. She's never felt anything like it. But before she can enjoy it, marvel in it, she hears a voice. No, voices. So many voices, all speaking in tandem. _Young one, _t_here are consequences to every action. Are you prepared to accept?_ Yes. _You would do so blindly?_ I need to protect my family. _We are your family, we are what has been, what will be. _So are they. _You will yield more power than any one before you. You will take on the responsibility of generations. You will need to be changed, your body, soul given over to nature. Do you accept? _Yes. _Do well Bonnie Bennett daughter of Abigail descendent of Ayanna born of the first. Do well._

The ground around them begins to shake and they run to her as she collapses, Abby leading the charge. But before any of them can reach her she is engulfed in a sphere of blinding light. Damon and Caroline feel the change instantly. It was the same feeling they got when they were around the originals. Something about Bonnie was centuries older and more powerfully than she should be capable of. They consider for a moment that maybe they were wrong because when she stands she still looks like Bonnie, when she talks she still sounds like Bonnie. Even the shy exhausted smile on her face is a staple for the young fledgling witch. Elena however confirms their suspicious

"Bonnie what did you do?" She can feel it; there is something vastly different about her best friend. Something that Elena can feel inside of herself. She feels drawn to Bonnie now, almost anchored to her in a way that is entirely out of her control. And yet she feels protected, as though Bonnie's sole purpose was to insure her survival.

"I knew you would feel it the most. Being a doppelganger is so intricate." There is a slight awe in Bonnie's voice. She had always known that Elena was her own force but she could feel it now, understand it in a way she never had before. If witches were vessels of power then the Doppelganger was a human manifestation of nature. Everything in Bonnie saw Elena the same way she saw the trees, it was as if Elena wasn't a just part of the balance, she was the balance. "I needed to be stronger. It's actually a retarded amount of power, every witch that had ever and will ever be born into my family. I was too human, too weak. They made me a lot less breakable."

She was still a witch, still human but less breakable, to Ric that only spelt out one thing. "They made you immortal. They're maintaining your body the same way they did with Esther." He doesn't know how he feels about that. On one hand, Bonnie was now a greater asset than she had ever been but on the other she was still just a child. They all were. Caroline was a vampire, Elena would forever be hunted and now Bonnie was destined to protect the balance for an indescribable amount of time. They had barely been kids and now they could never be again. If there had been any doubt before it was shattered; Mystic Falls robs you of everything you have.

Caroline doesn't know what to think about it all. On one hand she gets to keep her best friend forever, but on the other hand Bonnie was the only one who would have been able to get out. Elena would turn, whether she knew it yet or not that was something Caroline was very aware of. Being the Doppelganger was only a death sentence for as long as she remained human, as long as her blood was solely her own. And even if they followed Elena her entire life would never want to pass share this curse with anyone. She would never risk children, could never bring a husband into the constant battle her human life would continue to be. But Bonnie could have gotten out. After Elena turned she and Caroline would have left and Bonnie would've been normal again. Now, even though they would probably always have each other, this time she's not sure the end justifies the mean.

Silently, begrudgingly they all make their way back to the Boarding House. There is still a lot they have to do. Bonnie needs to push her essence as far as it will go and keep an eye on any collects of magic big enough to do major damage. This wasn't even really about Elena anymore. It was Bonnie's job now to protect more than the small town she lived in. It was her job to keep the balance, period. If she could sense a disturbance she had to stop it. For eternity. She doesn't know how she feels about that. It's not a fear of being alone, she would have Caroline and Elena by her side always, she knew that. It's more a resignation. _This_ was what she would give. After Abby was turned, when she'd asked herself what was left, what more could be taken from her… this was her answer. With this power she lost her free will. She would always be a witch, always protecting the balance, always fighting. She tries to picture the dreams she had before. Going to college, meeting a normal guy, staying the hell out of Mystic Falls. The townhouse in New York and the job she hated as much as she loved. It's a distorted and grainy image that makes her skin feel tight and constricted. She is not the same girl she had been and a life like that would never be able to satisfy her, not anymore.

Sage doesn't know how to feel about the information she had just received. What the hell was Damon Salvatore doing back in Mystical Falls and why was he all of a sudden calling in favours left, right and center? She hadn't needed to be warned, any favour Damon needed from her she would give gladly but her curiosity was sparked. She kept out of Vampire politics. She heard rumours about a doppelganger, ran into a few hybrids and knew that the originals were all back in the 'new world' for the first time in no one knows how long. Though she's sure it was all very exciting, it had nothing to do with her so she steered clear. But Damon, well he was her business and she needed to know what the hell he had gotten himself into this time.

Caroline heads straight for the alcohol and rather than engage in a 'who gets to pour their bourbon first' match she opts for making herself a dangerously strong martini. One look at the people in the room with her and she makes four more. Her mom is sitting on the phone with Carol discussing the right course of action for Miss. Council Members Must Die, personally she thinks they should just lock the bitch up and wait for her to die out but she doesn't get a vote. Elena's doing that fidgeting thing she does now whenever Damon's within ten feet of her; it was as cute as it was tragic. Bonnie is reassuring Abby that she's fine, that she would rather have the power than not have it… Caroline doesn't know how much of that is the truth and how much is said to placate her mother but it's not like it matters; what's done is done. As a whole, they could all use a stiff drink.

Damon waits until everyone has settled before he reminds them of all the work they still need to accomplish. They could all agree that Bonnie needed to rest for a few days, preferably refraining from any use of magic to give herself time to adjust. He knows she won't listen but whatever the most they could do was try. They still needed to decide what to do with Psycho-Bitch and figure out how Elena's finger prints ended up on the weapons. Not to mention corner Stefan and find out what dastardly plan he's working on now and what it has to do with Klaus. All in all, they weren't as fucked as they had been twelve hours ago but they were still pretty fucked. On the positive side they would have the time to actually handle things one at a time for a change. The bitch was locked up, Stefan wasn't going anywhere and Klaus had told them… well had assured Caroline, that if they left him alone he would return in kind. He can practically smell freedom.

Elena stares at the whiteboard detailing everything that still needed to be done. It was a lot sure, but nothing they wouldn't be able to handle. They haven't been this organized or united since searching for Stefan last summer. It blows her mind that it's been almost a year since Chicago. And it breaks her heart that at the very bottom of the board it says 'bring baby Gilbert home'. He was still in there. Somewhere deep inside, beneath all of that indifference is everything she needs, everything she wants, everything she was dumb enough to throw away. She twirls her fingers 'round and 'round, taps her foot in a way she knows is annoying but she needs to do something. She's got two speeds these days; either she's away from Damon craving his presence or she's near Damon craving his touch. Nothing he gave her was enough, there was nothing between them to satisfy her and no indication that things would change. It destroyed her. She wanted to move on, knew it was probably incredibly smart to move on, but she waited. And she would wait forever for him, because he would have waited for her. If she hadn't thrown his love back in his face, if she hadn't pined for the safe familiarity of Stefan's arms, if she hadn't… if she hadn't been Katherine, he would have waited for her. She owed it to him, to their love. She would wait.


	5. Freedom, Is That You?

**AN: My sage is nothing like cannon, they really underutilized a potentially great character. This is just who I wanted her to be. **

* * *

He doesn't know how he had let it get this far. For months he and Rebekah had been searching for the remaining white oak tree. And now he had to hear from Caroline that Stefan was doing the same. After his mother had died, he should have killed the Salvatore but he had been too distracted to think straight. His first thought had been to kill her where she stood and then everyone she associated with herself with. But even through his rage he knew he couldn't bear harming her. The others he could have kill, though apparently they were planning on stopping Stefan themselves. It was believable that Damon would claim responsibility for his brother, would want to take care of the issue in house. Like him, Damon had been raised in a world of family loyalty and honour; a time that was all about maintaining power and saving face. He didn't like it, but he could respect it. There had been a vote and surprisingly when it had come down to the witch her only concern was of balance. If Klaus agreed not to create any more hybrids and refrained from massacring entire towns they had no qualms with allowing him to live. He shouldn't, had no real reason to but for factors outside of his control he trusted her. Trusted that Caroline would not lie simply to keep him close enough to kill.

He would agree to it. But he was not doing so out of fear or a sudden a desire to be 'good'. "I need you to know that your friends are still alive because it would upset you to see them dead. Do not believe me to be someone I am not. Should they ever move against me, I will not hesitate in killing every last one of them. I care for no one but my family. And you." The last part was said so reluctantly that she knows he would love nothing more than to take it back. She had him so turned around. It clearly pained him to admit to having feelings for her and yet he was so single minded. Everything was about her. When they were together his every thought, every action was made to keep Caroline happy, to keep her by his side. It was no wonder he and Damon butted heads so often. They were too much alike to ever get along. She however was not like Elena. She would never sacrifice her happiness; she was far too selfish a person.

"I know that. And I need you to know that the reason they aren't plotting against you isn't because you care for me, but because I care for you. I would warn you if they were up something, beg you to leave. They're my family though you're important to me too. I would never forgive either of you if the other got hurt." She makes sure to emphasize all the right places. She would stand by her family, even against him but would honestly never forgive _either _party should something happen to the other. Damon knew that, had stated quite frankly that they were keeping Klaus alive for the same reason Klaus kept them alive; for her. It wasn't ideal, but it was enough, certainly more than she had ever thought possible.

The girls had been able to get back to school often enough to have homework and being on the council was turning into a full time job. Between their 'normal' lives and their real one Alaric decides that they've accomplished enough to warrant a night off. It's more or less an excuse to be somewhere other than town hall, the school or the boarding house. This town had felt small enough before, now it was beginning to resemble a cage. As they walk into the Grill he can't help but notice how odd they must seem to the other patrons. Three barely legal young woman, one 32 year old teacher, a 26 year old bachelor and a woman that had gone missing nearly twenty years ago. The irony was that to them, this was strange. If only they knew just how strange the world could really be. He wastes no time heading to the pool table. He can't remember the last time he had just stopped and had fun. The girls get a booth, Damon makes a beeline for the bar and it feels good to breathe again.

He can sense her before he can see her, but he's four glasses in coupled with the sheer impossibility of it has him confused as hell which allows her to get next to him without much warning. Once she's there though, barely two feet of space separating them; the confusing disappears. Untamed flaming red curls? Check. Legs that could wrap around his waist like a vice? Check. And eyes more telling, portraying more danger than his own? Double Check. His senses were definitely still functioning properly. The only question now was what the hell she was doing in Mystic Falls? Though in all honesty it seemed pretty unimportant at the moment. He can't take his eyes off of her. If there had ever been a woman made uniquely for him; that was shaped from his rib and in his image, it would have been her. Devious, gorgeous and loyal. He knows the meaning behind her smirk better than he knows his own name. For the life of him, or rather the unlife he can't quite remember why they had gone so long without each other. He could have used her these last three years. Fuck, the amount of heartache he could have saved himself. Before he can drown in the memories of his emotions or the fact that Elena is not ten feet away she's on him like white on rice.

"Who the **fuck** is that?" She shouldn't be capable of being so furious yet sounding so broken at once. She had no idea why she had turned towards the bar. Elena knew very well that Damon had been sitting there for the past hour hitting on any and every female that approached him. She'd wanted to leave but Bonnie wasn't allowing her any more 'woe is me, I miss Damon' nights. For the last sixty minutes she'd kept her gaze everywhere but towards him. Then one feeling, one tingle and now she can't breathe. This wasn't a random bar slut. Whoever she was, she knew Damon. Knew him pretty freaking well by the looks of it. His hands on her, her hands on him, she can hear his laughter, his genuine laughter and it makes her sick. Could he have turned it back on? No, she would know. But then how do you explain the happiness she could clearly see radiating off of him? Who was this skank capable of making him happy when she had failed?

Caroline has only heard the stories. Damon didn't have any pictures so she couldn't say for sure. But everything he had ever told her about his mentor, his first real friend after turning matched perfectly with what she could see of the woman currently tangled around him. The only thing that didn't match was the fact that she was currently tangled around him. The way Damon tells it, he always found her. Never the other way around, she was too much of a wild card. She'd been the one to teach Damon how to be a vampire, how to give in without losing yourself. It had been Sage's lessons on taking care of your own and functioning without humanity that had created her sire. She loved Damon, sire bond or not, but she didn't necessarily agree with all of Sage's lessons. Neither had he, which is why he always left, why he could never stayed with her long-term and they hadn't seen each other since… '67? "Sage."

Stefan doesn't even know what to think about what he's seeing. Sage was in Mystic Falls. Had Damon realized what he was up to, would he really need to call in such heavy reinforcements? It seemed more likely that Klaus would bring Katherine to town and get married. Never in all the time that Stefan had known her had he ever seen Sage venture outside a large metropolitan area. The easier to hide her kills she said. If he didn't know about the bond between his brother and the viper, he would be mildly concerned for the citizens. Damon was the only person he'd ever seen handle Sage in any way. Another way he was both endangering and protecting the town at once. Where he had had Lexi, Damon had had Sage. Where he had never mastered what Lexi tried to teach him, had never been able to just be a good person. Damon had taken to Sage's tutelage like air and together they had become two devils somehow tempering one another out. Regardless of what Damon may think, it was not Stefan who always came out on top. While the closest thing to proof he had for his efforts wouldn't even noticed if he disappeared tomorrow. That same proof currently had her envious eyes fixated on his brother's companion. A jealousy he could never control emerged and it was all he could do to leave before someone got hurt.

"Did you missed me, babe?" How had he managed to get any more attractive than he had been? Forty years was too long. She moved with a natural grace sliding between his seat and the bar. As per usual choosing to say hello with her body in a way they had perfected so many years ago. She feels her skin sizzle as he brings a hand to rest on the thigh she's got wrapped across his lower body. If she still had it in her to fall in love, it would be no other creature but Damon. They were two side of the same coin, which was probably why they could never work but could never truly abandon each other either. She closed her eyes, involuntarily as he winds his fingers into her hair. Hmm, right back where they had left off. She can hear her name from across the bar. It's said with such reverence she can't help but smile into Damon's neck. "You've been telling stories. And she smells like you" she can barely contain the drawl of incredulity. "Tell me you didn't mate."

He would laugh if he thought he could get away with it. The way she spat out the last word, as if it were too vile to think, much less utter. There had been a time he would have agreed, and there had been a time where he had wanted nothing more than to claim and be claimed. Now as with almost everything else, he feels nothing but indifference towards the subject. "Don't have a stroke, she's my childe." He is mostly unsurprised by how proud he is of that fact, of Vampire Barbie. Coming back home hadn't really been a complete waste.

"Well, it seems you have been busy. Let's get out of here, catch up, have some fun." She doesn't really understand what it is about Damon that had touched her so much in the beginning. Now of course she knew, but at first, what had caught her eye? She had always been so opposed to caring, and usually when she said 'catch up' she didn't mean it traditionally. But with him, she genuinely wanted to know about everything she had missed. She wanted to know about this childe and why he was even here in the first place. She knew better than anyone how little he cared for his home town.

The second his hands began to finger her hair Elena had booked it out of the Grill and ran down the street with Bonnie and Caroline hot on her tail. She couldn't take it. Caroline had explained who Sage was, what she had done for Damon and it hadn't made her feel any better. Someone who knew Damon as well as she did? Yeah she didn't need the competition; things were already hard enough. They were friends, with an understanding, who fucked. Great. Add to the fact that Sage had never been the one to seek him out, until now? Bloody fantastic. So much for a night off.

Damon knew what she meant but more importantly he knew what he wanted, what she was always game for. "How about we get out of here, have some fun and catch-up over breakfast?" Watching her eyes flash with lust and mirth he can't just smell freedom, he can touch it.


	6. Finish Line Ahead

"Damon?" Sometimes Damon is absolutely sure that God hates him. When Sage had arrived he'd distracted her as much as he could but even vampires had to sleep eventually. And when it finally came time to talk he'd strategically left out the parts that would have gotten him staked. In a way, he was lucky Sage didn't really keep up with the undead information hotline; made it easier to lie. She'd known enough about the doppelganger myths and Elena's involvement with his brother and Klaus that he could bypass all the incriminating details. Not that it made any lick of difference in the end, not with Elena now standing in his kitchen looking like the exact replica of a woman he'd told Sage was long gone.

She doesn't know what surprises her more; the amount of emotion Katherine was portraying or the fact that Damon had lied about her absence. Between the things she'd heard and her own run-ins with the hell-bitch, it was unsettling to be able to see so much in her eyes. "I thought you said this wasn't about Katherine."

"I'm not Katherine." There's a bite to the words that she has no control over. With everything she's gone through emotionally in the last week, she can't help but feel defensive at the comparison. Though, the sting of Sage's comment gave her a momentary reprieve from the jealousy burning through her. Elena had only seen Damon a handful of times in the last month and it had always been to discuss strategy. But Sage's arrival had marked a turning point for their group. Bonnie had a strong grasp on her power, strong enough to follow Stefan to Chile while Caroline had cemented her relationship with Klaus and used it to broker an official truce. Leaving her faced with a period of normalcy she hadn't known since the time before her parents' death. And in that time she'd finally come to terms with her rollercoaster of emotions. Stefan was her past, and as nostalgic as she may get at times she could never go back to that. She could never be the weak girl that had needed his protection. Damon had made sure that she would never need anyone's protection ever again. But that didn't mean she didn't need his strength. The irony isn't lost on her that seeing him leaning against the counter between the legs of another woman, made her need his strength now more than ever.

The way Sage looks at him, he can't answer to that. He adverts his eyes out of sheer self-preservation. He can't say anything to correct her assumptions, she wasn't wrong and no smooth talking would convince otherwise. He couldn't explain how he'd let things happen the way they had. "That's Elena." He says it with such defeat, as if he'd lost some sort of internal battle, and she picks up on it just like he knew she would. There was no hiding things from this woman. It would be, hell it currently was easier hiding things from himself. When she places her hands on either side of his face, he has no choice but to meet her eyes. As always he might as well be looking into a mirror.

Ayanna was a bitch. And she feels horrible for saying that because a lot of Bonnie's power was her power first. But she had hiked for two hours before climbing to the top of a rock hill only to find out that she couldn't simply spell a stake from the tree. Ayanna had not only made it so that she couldn't use magic to get herself within 12 miles of the tree, she couldn't use magic on the tree either. Nope, that would be way too easy and make far too much sense. So now she's chopping off wood and whittling. How exactly is she whittling you might ask, given that she's from the most suburban small town of life? Who the fuck knows but she's getting it done. The only good thing about all this hassle was that Stefan had had to wait for her in town. Four stakes. One for each original. She spelled three of them back to the boarding house where she knew someone would be waiting.] and began the long journey back to irate vampire who had caused all this trouble to begin with. She understood that Klaus would have been a problem for them no matter what, but if Stefan hadn't fucked them Damon would never have undaggered the rest. But that was behind them now, Klaus was under control and they had more than enough power to fight any new threats. After this Damon would get Jeremy and they could all finally take a break.

"Not Katherine" The lingering _but close enough _is not lost on Elena. Maybe knowing Damon so well gives her an insight into Sage. Or more likely she knows exactly why Damon may have left out enough information to cause the initial confusion. If Sage knew about Katherine, there was no way Damon would admit to letting it happen again. He would never expose himself that way, not to her, not to anyone. It hurts more than it has any right to. She knew this, knew that she was just the second. The second doppelganger, the second woman he'd loved, the second to use him, the second to break him. And while she would never want to be the first, she certainly wants to be the last. Wanted to be the one he gave his heart to, the one that didn't make him regret it. She'd come to fix things but watching the two of them together, there may not be anything left to fix.

"But I took care of it." He sees a flicker in her eyes, that knowledge that something inside of him had died. He knows Sage wishes they were different, that they were capable of more; of love. He sees something flicker in Elena's eyes too but it was different. Where she had doubt, Damon and Sage shared a hope that would never be realized. A hope that one day the one they loved would love them in turn. And while Sage had buried that love after it abused, broke and ultimately killed her. Damon had buried himself, taken his emotions and locked them away just to insure he would never be broken again. He takes comfort in her gentle caresses, as always drawing strength from their shared pain.

She's not even sure he noticed her departure. There had been a time where Damon noticed every breath she took, every out of place hair. She was so used to him noticing everything about her that she felt an emptiness without his devotion. And that's what it had been, that's why even without his emotions he was still here. Damon wasn't just in love with her, he had been, he continued to be devoted to her. The only difference was that now her happiness wasn't a factor, as long as she was alive it was good enough. That's what he had taken care of, that's what he had switched off. The love was what he protected himself from. He could bury the love but never lose the devotion. The words she'd planned would never be enough. She needed a new game plan.

There's something about packing that makes you realize how nothing your life really was. Six boxes and a duffle bag. That was all Alaric needed to survive. People put all this value on material procession but in reality, minus the bag, everything he owned was replaceable. Even with the crazy life he led, this makes the least sense to him. Looking around he makes sure he'd left enough at the house that Elena would know he would be back because he honestly didn't plan on being gone forever. He loved her, loved the family they had built of seeming orphans and over-aged delinquents. But he needed to say goodbye, at least for a while. He just needed to do something else for a minute, be someone else. But whoever he would be, this was still a part of who he was. And when he came back he'd see how life would work. He was already letting Damon joke about turning him. He and Jeremy were the only humans left, it only made sense. He didn't know exactly how he felt about that, didn't know how he felt about a lot of things but he was leaving to find out.

Caroline finds the stakes exactly where Bonnie said they would be. Exiting the boarding house she could feel the anxiety rolling off of Klaus in waves but he needed to be here for this. It would be the ultimate test, knowing where the stakes were. Damon had agreed that this was how they would do things, all cards on the table. Only Caroline and Klaus would know about the first three, should they ever go missing they would know who was to blame. There really wasn't any harm; either Klaus would kill his siblings or he would burn the weapons. They would either be down one possible enemy or need to go back to Chile, no harm no foul. And should Klaus ever betray them, Damon had the fourth stake and no reservations about having to use it. She can only hope it would never come to that. She may enjoy having everything now but that didn't change the fact that she had meant what she'd said in the beginning of their relationship. She would **always** choose her family, even against him. She laces they're hands together and leaves the cemetery behind. The kiss he places to her temple is all the reassurance she needs. They had a few more hours together before she had to meet Elena, and there were much more enjoyable things they could be doing.


	7. Family

**Rated M AN: RAAANT! (think this was for 3x20?) Anyone who has to wait until tomorrow don't worry no spoilers. Elena is a cunting ungrateful bitch. Not at all surprising, like you're mad he didn't let you die… ARE YOU DAMAGED? I understand the concept, if my life came at the price of my friend's mother I wouldn't like it, I would be so broken and angry but I would have no right to direct that anger at the person who chose me. A little resentment maaaybe but no anger. You love me, do I wish you loved me less sure but loving me isn't a crime. Elena grow the fuck up. If you'd listened to him in the first place it would have never happened. You're a dumb bitch. Oh and your gullable as fuck. You don't know where you stand in life so anytime some says something to you it completely changes your view point. PICK A FUCKING SIDE and stand there you dumb bitch. Gawd I hate you. So much. Yu have so much potential. Which you kind of tapped into today so from here on just do better. **

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Sage doesn't want to leave without him but she understood that there were certain things that needed to be handled alone. Once she had heard the full story, the real story, she had all but demanded they leave immediately. Some might call her a coward but in their world it was survival of the fittest, both physically and emotionally. It was the reason vampires had switches, predators that were ruled by their emotions didn't stay alive very long. In the end they had found a way to compromise. She would give him a few weeks to get his life in order and then he would come find her. If not she was coming back for him and she'd burn down the soul crushing town he called home. It was extreme but so were their kinship. The longing in his eyes as she boarded her plane stole away her doubts. It was clear that he wanted to get out as much as she wanted to save him. And just like that she finally knows what it was, that thing that had made it impossible to leave him alone. It was his restlessness. It was his desire to be free that rivalled her own. Soon enough it would be blood, sex and bourbon just like the good old days.

It was done. Jeremy doesn't really know how he feels about it all. Between the release from compulsion and the recap on everything he's missed, he just wanted to sleep. When he'd agreed to be sent away it had nearly killed him but he trusted Damon. Not only with his sister's life but with his own. And when Damon had called him and told him to pack, he didn't even question it. He promised to come for him, when all the madness was over, when they were safe he said he would come for him. There were few things that Jeremy still trusted in this world but Damon's word was absolute. Standing in front of his house he feels like an intruder. So much had happened while he'd been away, so much had changed. They'd probably been standing there for hours but Damon never said a word. He took his time walking into the house. Slowly moving from room to room trying to reacquaint the person he had been for a few months with the person he had been his whole life. It's overwhelming. He turns on the x-box lets Damon beat him Left 4 Dead.

It breaks her heart how long they've gone without this. Bonnie needed an Abby break and Klaus was bonding with Rebekah so Caroline was free. They'd gone to the drug store and picked up every gossip mag they could find, nail polish in colours they would never normally be caught dead in and more ice cream than should be legal and headed back to the Gilbert house. The entire trip had given her a sense of nostalgia she hadn't been prepared for but it was what she'd come home to that ruined her. She didn't think twice about the lights being on, Alaric visited every now and then to check up on her. She walked in the house that night, and if Caroline hadn't caught her she had no doubt that she would have hit the ground. And she hadn't been wrong, Ric was there. Sitting on the arm of the couch with scotch in hand. What she hadn't been expected was seeing Jeremy next to him controller in hand and Damon walking out of the kitchen arguing about her baby brother's unfair advantage. He'd done it, her brother was home. Bonnie leaves her side instantly but she doesn't even acknowledge anything's changed. She disappears up the stairs while Caroline walks into the kitchen and Elena's officially entered the twilight zone.

They could breathe again. That's the only thing running through her mind as she walks into Elena's bathroom. Under the sink, exactly where they left it practically years ago, is their mani/pedi basket. Further proof that things were finally back to normal. Damon wouldn't have gotten Jeremy unless he was sure, unless he knew they were safe. Maybe not forever, but certainly for a while. They could stay together now, between her power and their collective inability to die they would never have to be separated again. Walking back into the living room she gives Jeremy a shy smile. She doesn't know what will happen next but she isn't scared any more. She can finally take a breath and not worry that it will be her last.

Caroline doesn't even need to pay attention to what she's doing. She could honestly navigate the Gilbert kitchen better than her own. She finds the syrup and spoons exactly where she expected to. With everything that had changed, this would always remain constant. She takes a seat next to Bonnie on the floor. Jeremy looks older, not necessarily due to the amount of time they'd been a part. She supposes they all do. It would only make sense, she hardly feels eighteen, Bonnie has the power of a thousand witches and Elena's birth was predestined. It would be ridiculous for them to look like everyone else around them. Damon looks older than them all, but he carries it well. Carried them well. Because whether he will ever admit it or not he was the head of this family. They were all here, alive, together because of him.

Alaric doesn't know how they do it. How they were capable of living on the edge of death and then coming together for nights like these. Between the sounds of machine guns and blood splatter someone's ordering pizza and spoons hit plastic as ice cream is devoured at an alarming rate. Less than a year ago the youngest among them were killing to survive and pushing themselves further than anyone could ask. Less than a year ago none of them new exactly where they fit in life. And the oldest among them doubted whether he fit at all. If he still believed in God, he would take this as a sign. This was where they fit. The outside world be damned, they were meant to be together. The logistics of it were irrelevant.

Family. It's what they are, it's who they are and it was the only thing that mattered. When someone asked her of her place in this world she could finally answer with something other than what she was. She wasn't Elena Gilbert the daughter of Miranda and Grayson, John and Isobel, Alaric and Jenna. She wasn't Elena Gilbert the second doppelganger. Or Elena Gilbert head cheerleader and queen bee of Mystic Falls High. No, she was Elena Gilbert, an integral member of an amazing family. That was her identity. She leaves her place by the door and finally joins the bliss surrounding her. On the floor, back against her brother's legs and finally able breathe.

He stays as long as he can. The hours blend together until the sun is about to rise and he can't stretch out the time any longer. There are certain moments in life that make you rethink every single thing you've believed in. Not too long ago his brother had told him that to be a better villain you needed to be smarter. Back then he'd laughed, because to him, to beat the villain you needed to be a better villain. Now he's laughing at his own stupidity. Damon won the same way he always did. Damon had the stakes, the treaty with Klaus, the love of all those around him and he'd never become a monster. He never out hurt, out killed or out tortured his enemy. He simply out planned. Step by step he set up the board exactly the way he needed it, pushed you to move exactly the way he needed you too. It was magnificent really. It was over. As cliché as it sounds, at the end all you can really do is go back to the beginning. And his beginning was somewhere in Europe, he just needed to find her.

Everything was different. Jeremy could feel it. There were new lines of what could or could not be done in the name of the cause. Hell, there was a new cause. And a new dynamic. No one was fighting for an identity, simply looking for a role to play. They were a well old machine at this point, everyone in their right place. The first time he'd considered becoming a vampire it had been for Vicki; to have a switch and block out the hurt. Then it had been for Anna, to have a part of her forever. Now he's considering it to keep this feeling, to be a part of this family until the end. With Bonnie and Caroline already passed out in the spare room and Ric already gone to wherever it was he lived now, he excuses him and gives his sister a chance to finally follow her heart.

She almost doesn't want to break the spell of the night. Almost. It creeped up on her so slowly that she was sure she was imagining it. The hope in her heart creating a feeling that just wasn't there. But she took a chance, one she's not sure was worth it. When she'd looked up over Bonnie's shoulders his eyes had been on her. The same eyes that she had gone so long without were finally focused where she needed them to be. But even through the renewed love, the flicker of hope, she knew. As she was walking him by the hand she could accept that her decisions had brought them here. She can see the knowing look in his eyes, the honesty that he had never abandoned. Even in this, where it would be better to lie, he wouldn't, not even for her. It was back on. And this was goodbye. _Stay with me. _

He knew she would notice. But he couldn't have kept it off. If this was their last night together he wouldn't deny her anything. He should leave, but he needed this even more than she did. He doesn't think of the amount of time he's spent in this room with her, on this bed. He doesn't think about anything but the feeling of finally having her in his arms again. They fall back on a routine that had once been the highlight of their nights. Without the words he already knows how she feels but he listens anyway. He could listen to her forever, and he rejoices a but when she says the same. He tells her about Sage, how much they care about each other, how much they do to protect each other. She laughs when he tells her they would make good friends. She isn't wrong for thinking Sage would rather kill her but under different circumstances he knows the two could have grown on each other. They talk about Stefan in a way they've never been able to before. It's the first time she says his brother's name and he doesn't wasn't to kill himself. There is an air of finality to it all, one that he knows she accepts. So instead of being racked with guilt or doubt or false hope he is content. Content to watch her breathing even out and listen to the sounds she doesn't know she makes in her sleep.


	8. Right, Just Not Right Now

He'd wanted to sneak away before she woke up but half way to the door he knows she's watching.

"So you are leaving then." She tries to keep the tears out of her voice even as they fall uncontrolled down her cheeks. A part of her had always known that it would come to this. They'd come so far in the last few years but it hadn't been enough. She would never fully understand or forgive herself for what she had broken inside of him. Her only redeeming fact was that she had broken the same part of herself as well.

"It's time." He can't look at her. Last night she'd broken through all the barriers he'd built between them and if he looked at her, for even a second, he would stay. He couldn't stay.

"When will you come back?" _How long will I have to wait?_ She doesn't care, whether it were months or years; it makes no difference. She just wanted something to hold him too.

"Elena." He says her name like a prayer, like it was a privilege to be able to use it, like he was blessed even to know her. How long would it be until that stopped… did he even want it to?

"When, Damon." He can't stay away forever. She knows him better than she knows herself. And she is more sure of the love between them than she is of her own name. He can't stay away forever for the same reason that she would never stop waiting.

"I don't know, a few decades maybe." Long enough for her to move on. Long enough for her to forget. He wishes for the first time since he turned that he was human. He would never forget her, never would his memories fade and blur. He would be haunted by her in the same way he had been haunted by Katherine. Only this time there would be no reprieve, there would be no other woman to save him. She was his last chance.

She walks to him slowly. Her hand curves around his shoulder and applies just enough pressure to turn him towards her. She catalogues everything about him, needing something to hold onto in the years to come. She brings one hand to the back of his neck, stroking her thumb against his jaw trying to memorize the exact texture of his skin. Breathing deeply, inhaling his scent, all of this would have to last. A few decades. He meant to come back when she was old, grey, and dying. Well he'd just have to life with the disappointment. "If you want to be with someone forever, you have to live forever."

He couldn't possibly have heard her right. But with the lack of distance between them and the volume, the very certainty of her voice, he couldn't possibly have heard her wrong. "You can't mean that" He convinces himself she's just toying with him. Doing whatever it took just to make him stay. Her constant need for a safety net taken president over his bleeding heart. But she… she looked so sure. She was looking at him the way he _knows _he looked at her. It was no trick of the light, her features never changing, her eyes never waver. Her heart beat steadily and her caress remained loving. He should never have fucking looked at her. "Maybe not so many decades"

She can't help the smile that breaks out across her face. He still wants her, still loves her. How… how was that even possible? No one needed to tell her how little she deserved this man. She would never forget , never take him for granted again,. "Maybe only one?"

His only option is concession. "Long enough for you to change your mind."

Her heart holds on to one truth. This was right. Maybe not right now, but soon. "Long enough for you to know I won't."

**FIN**

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**Sequel? yup. Forever Starts Today  
**


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